Alex Jones: `We’re the most bona fide, hard-core, Real McCoy thing there is.’

Good morning Austin:

I don’t know, but I think before the Alex Jones trial is over I may have to put some money in the Infowars coffers and buy me some Caveman.

It’s the ultimate in true paleonutrition with bone broth, turmeric root, chaga mushrooms and seven total primal superfoods in a single great-tasting formula. Caveman. It’s those people, living in the wilds, actually having to build civilization that are our superior ancestors, and we need to do everything we can to recapture that.

Jones, who does the ad, is, of course, its best advertisement, from his trademark growl to his indefatigable energy.

I offer as evidence the following Infowars video.

I don’t know exactly when he taped this, whether it was before court yesterday, or immediately after, but just as I filed my story yesterday evening for today’s paper, there in my inbox was an email from Infowars with this.

Jones took the stand late yesterday afternoon in his child custody trial, and testified for a little more than an hour under the encouraging questioning of Randall Wilhite, his attorney.

Note, that, as I wrote in a story in Monday’s Statesman, it was Wilhite who signaled that in the trial unfolding this week and next in a Travis County courtroom, Jones’ lawyers would argue that the character Jones portrays on Infowars should not be mistaken for the real Alex Jones, level-headed father.

At a recent pretrial hearing, attorney Randall Wilhite told state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo that using his client Alex Jones’ on-air Infowars persona to evaluate Alex Jones as a father would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in “Batman.”

“He’s playing a character,” Wilhite said of Jones. “He is a performance artist.”

Jones will return to the stand this morning and, when Wilhite finishes questioning him, he will get a much rougher going over from Bobby Newman, a lawyer representing his ex-wife, Kelly. For more on this read Ken Herman’s column in today’s paper.

But, in that context, yesterday’s Infowars video from Alex Jones is vintage Jones and great stuff.

It begins with a review of recent coverage around the trial and the performance artist strategy, followed by Jones’ reply.

Do watch it, but what follows the video is my illustrated transcript of what Jones had to say.


First off they love to brand us as fake news or the media loves to attack us and say, `He dresses up in lizard suits,’ like Gorn, or whatever the guy’s name is from the Star Trek episode, the famous one where he’s fighting Captain Kirk, and then the news asks me, “Are you serious,” and I say, “That’s satire.”

I’m being an actor acting like I’m a space alien that wants to exterminate the population of the Earth to try to sell you on taking vaccines. I don’t actually believe that the Star Trek character is real.

And they go, “Oh my gosh. Alex Jones is fake. He says he’s an actor.”

“Look he was in A Scanner Darkly.”

“And he was in Waking Life.”

They think you’re completely stupid and they think you’re completely mentally ill.

If I put a top hat on and play the head of Goldman Sachs, saying “I’m screwing you over, I love the mega banks, I am going to rob you, world government’s good,” I’m illustrating how George Soros and others think of you. I don’t literally believe that.

The times that I put on clown makeup and play the part of the Joker saying, “Drink your fluoride water, and take your vaccines because you’re going to see pretty colors kids,” people got freaked out and said, “Oh my gosh, you’re not real because you act like a nice guy on air, but then you acted like a monster for an hour on TV.”


It was powerful. It was a powerful performance.


That’s why people were freaked out and said, “What’s the real you?”

You know I keep thinking people are smart.

This is the real me. The Bill of Rights. The Constitution. The Republic. Changing the world. Brexit. Nationalism rising. Second Amendment. Family.  Delivering the goods. Getting people elected. Patriot congressmen and women. Taking over the House of Representatives. And they’re listeners folks. Freedom Caucus. Every one of them basically.

They can’t stand that. This platform of people like David Knight, Paul Watson … and Ron Paul and Col. Shaffer and countless other people and our great writers and researchers. Are they actors? Are they fakes?  Do I screen them before they come on the air. No. Do we tell guests what they can talk about on air? No.  Everybody else does. We don’t do pre-interviews.

Ask anybody. We’re the most bona fide, hard-core, Real McCoy thing there is. And everybody knows it and we’re delivering the goods.

But they sit there and they play games. There are headlines in BBC, Reuters, AP, “Infowars host Alex Jones plays a character, is different in real life.”

What? I didn’t say that.

And then they show an image like I was being arrested like they always do.

This is the kind of deception that’s going on. Because I say ‘I wanna knock somebody upside the head,” they say, ” Oh, we’re going to charge you for that.”It was a figure of speech to make my point. So it’s, “Oh, then you’re fake, you really don’t want to punch me in the face?”

They play these semantical lawyer games, ladies and gentlemen. It’s ridiculous.

We’re defending the Republic. We’re defending he border. We’re defending he Second Amendment. We’re defending people’s right not to be forcibly injected with vaccines or eat GMOs. We’re fighting Islamic global slavery that the media makes jokes about it and says, “Is it real?” even though we have mainstream news of them selling women as sex slaves in Libya and the video of it, which was so horrible we didn’t even air it last week but we should probably play some of that over me or show some of the articles.

They don’t like us because we are able to get a talking point out that’s true and the system wants a monopoly of control over the news and over the information. That’s why they lie and say we’re fake news. That’s why they lie and say, “Jones has to be banned off Google. He said it was probably a false flag in Syria, two weeks ago.”

Meanwhile, my own listeners are saying I sold out because I’m waiting to see what happens in Syria.

We exposed the false flag, we had the first news articles.

Then Ron Paul comes out. Then Putin comes out. Then Assad comes out. And then the news, the Economist, you name it, says I got the false flag from Assad. Noooo. I got it from four chemical attacks pointed at the rebels, two of them they got caught doing. That’s UN, Associated Press, Reuters confirmed.

Four days later Assad goes on BBC and says everything I said. I didn’t get it from Assad. He got it from the news, from the facts, from the reality. But they say I got it from Assad because I’m an actor, I don’t have any original thoughts. Everybody tells me what to say. That I’ve got teleprompters in here. No I don’t.

I can’t even read off a teleprompter. I can’t even control myself. Everybody knows that around here. I’m the opposite of some scripted person.

When you talk about being an actor, I imagine the globalists and how they hate us and how they think they’re better than us and a breakaway species, in their own words, and they absolutely have disdain, so I can then put a lizard mask on, and “Oh, New World Order, please take your shots,” and just act like a high school skit to illustrate it, and you know I don’t hardly do that anymore because it confuses people, because the news is so hard-core that I will just illustrate it with the absolute facts because even when we put satire on the article, in the headline, people think we made it up because people don’t know what satire is any more. Exactly.

So it’s like when I saw they ordered 40,000 pairs of 5X, or whatever they were, underwear, I made a joke out of that.

That was actually a real story.

So, there you go.

So, that said, here’s the big news. Drum roll, ladies and gentlemen. Google takes out major contract to de-list Infowars from its search index. We got this from a top insider, confirmed source for us.

Bunch of media said that I was a liar. It was totally insane. Google did not have contracts out to de-list us for having Ron Paul on.

They actually said, “He is de-listed for Ron Paul.” They actually said, “He had Ron Paul on, that’s not credible. Nyet. You’re baked.”


And I played a Putin clip. They said I’m not allowed to do that. And then I pointed out the mainstream news played Putin saying it was a false flag. And they’re like, he’s got Putin and Trump on his page and those aren’t credible, so they’re banned.

People said, “Oh, you’re not banned, you’re not that important.”

I’m just in a thousand newspapers a day right now being attacked. Yeah, we’re not important.

Folks, we are important because we represent the people. We represent you. We represent victory against the fake media.

The dinosaur media are a bunch of slime. They’ve already collapsed. They are a bunch of frauds. You wouldn’t believe the stuff I’ve seen in my own personal life in the last week. Total inversion of reality.

And these reporters ask why I won’t talk to them. I say, “Just make up what you’re going to make up bro’.”

You know like 3-year-olds learn the trick of lying. I learned to stop telling lies when I was 3 or 4 years old. Truth has power.

The video ends with the Caveman ad.



Jones: I’m a long way from the caveman our ancestors were but I’m sure as hell trying to get back to that essence that made us what we are and this is a big part of that.

Question: Would it be a conflict of interest if I ordered and ingested some Caveman while still covering the Alex Jones trial?

Especially with state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo yesterday ordering reporters to unplug and cover the rest of the trial using a pen and pad, a little Caveman seems in order.


Author: Jonathan Tilove

Jonathan Tilove is the Statesman's chief political writer. He was a Washington correspondent for the New Orleans Times-Picayune from 2008 to 2012. Before that he covered race and immigration issues for Newhouse News Service for 18 years.

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